Fly on the Wall: Watching Pam Bondi and Kash Patel Laugh Off Trump’s Corruption While America Pays the Price
(Scene: A bland government office. An American flag droops sadly in the corner. Pam Bondi leans back in her chair, sipping a Diet Coke. Kash Patel sits across from her, looking down as his phone while fiddling with a Trump 2028 keychain.)
Pam:
(Reading from a file, deadpan)
“So, apparently Trump’s pumping a fake cryptocurrency again. This time it’s a ‘Trump Meme Coin.’”
(Glances up)
“And get this — he’s offering private dinners at his golf course to the top buyers. The more coins you buy, the closer you sit to the ‘favorite president.’”
Kash:
(Laughs)
“Classic. Bribe me with crypto, and maybe you get a handshake and a sad buffet dinner.”
Pam:
(Shaking head)
“It’s basically selling political access. Using crypto as a pay-to-play scheme. And half the money’s coming from shady overseas accounts — including one tied to Justin Sun, a guy already on the global sketch list.”
Kash:
(Still fiddling with the keychain)
“Right, but are we really gonna call it corruption just because a foreign billionaire buys millions in Trump tokens to get into a private event?”
Pam:
(Grinning)
“Only if we had ethics. Or laws. Or dignity.”
Kash:
(Flipping a page)
“Oh, and did you see? Trump’s raking in millions from this 'World Liberty Financial' crypto project too. He gets 75% of the profits—directly.”
(Whistles)
“That’s straight-up personal enrichment. While he's in office.”
Pam:
(Shrugs dramatically)
“Well, hey. If the founding fathers had Bitcoin, maybe George Washington would've sold NFTs of himself crossing the Delaware.”
Kash:
(Nods seriously)
"True patriots pump their own bags."
Pam:
(Reading another file)
"And Justin Sun—the same guy cozying up to Trump—has been tied to $450 million in shady transactions and stablecoin fraud. But now he's second on the Trump leaderboard and getting dinner at the D.C. golf course."
Kash:
(Smirks)
“Nothing says ‘America First’ like selling out to offshore crypto whales.”
Pam:
(Deadpan)
“Exactly. Meanwhile, ordinary Americans are losing billions to crypto scams. Especially seniors. The FBI just reported Americans over 60 lost almost $3 billion last year alone.”
Kash:
(Nods)
“But you know, let’s not investigate. Let’s just blame it on ‘bad decision-making.’”
Pam:
(Flips a hand)
“Personal responsibility, Kash! It's not Trump's fault that grandma thought her retirement savings were FDIC insured when scammers said they were.”
Kash:
(Squints at another page)
“Oh, and Virgil Griffith—the guy who taught North Korea how to use crypto to dodge U.S. sanctions? He’s out of prison and asking for a Trump pardon.”
Pam:
(Leans back, snorts)
“Teaching North Korea to fund nukes? Meh. Let’s put him back on the streets. Maybe he can keynote the next CPAC.”
Kash:
(Grinning)
“We'll call it 'Nukes and NFTs: The Future of Freedom.'"
Pam:
(Serious tone, briefly)
"You know what all of this shows, right? Every system that's supposed to protect American families — financial laws, anti-corruption rules, sanctions — is being turned into a cash register for Trump and his cronies."
Kash:
(Shrugs)
"Yeah. But if we start caring about stuff like national security, public trust, and constitutional violations... when will we have time to go on Newsmax and scream 'Hunter's Laptop!'?"
Pam:
(Laughing)
“And don’t forget: Trump’s new SEC chair, Paul Atkins, was literally a lobbyist for FTX and other failed crypto scams. Now he’s running the agency that’s supposed to protect investors.”
Kash:
(Throws hands in the air)
“Who better to dismantle regulations than the guys who needed regulations in the first place?”
Pam:
(Nods seriously)
“It’s like putting the fox in charge of the chicken coop. If the fox also sold fake crypto tokens to the chickens.”
Kash:
(Scrolling his phone)
“By the way, did you see Trump’s idea to use the U.S. gold reserves to buy Bitcoin?”
Pam:
(Snickering)
“Genius. Nothing says ‘sound fiscal policy’ like gambling America's strategic assets on meme coins.”
Kash:
(Putting phone down)
“So, should we investigate any of this? The pay-to-play dinners? The offshore money? The sabotage of the SEC? The corruption? The market manipulation? The targeting of seniors?”
Pam:
(Long pause. Then they both burst out laughing.)
Kash:
“Or... we could just call Elizabeth Warren a communist on Fox News.”
Pam:
(Standing up, stretching)
“Way easier.”
Kash:
(Grinning)
“God Bless America. And God Bless the Grift.”
Mitch Jackson, Esq. | links
PS- If you're looking to understand what's actually happening beneath the headlines and laughter, I'd strongly recommend Molly White's recent articles. Her "Issue 82- E-moluments" analysis and "Trump’s newest grift: Building a cryptocurrency empire while destroying its regulators.”
Each explores in detail the problems, conflicts and possible wrongdoings behind the mechanics of cryptocurrency, and building cryptocurrency empires while simultaneously tearing down the very guardrails designed to protect everyone else.
Look, when all is said and done, the situations Trump and his enablers have put us in isn’t just incredible. It isn't just disgusting. It's both—and it matters to all of us, whether we own cryptocurrency or not.
This post is free—but building a future rooted in truth and democracy takes real investment. If my work speaks to you, subscribe and if you can, chip in $5/month or $50/year—because independent journalism that actually gives a damn (and delivers ideas you can use today) is worth backing.
And they want to talk about ActBlue?